Do Organized People Find Love Faster?

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5 responses to “Do Organized People Find Love Faster?”

1. 

   February 14, 2010

   Dane Findley

   Entertaining Post! I am inclined to say, yes, organized people “find” love. I put “find” in quotes because in this case the word means more than “find” — it also means “attract,” “manifest,” and “keep.”
   A smart lady once said that when you get serious about The Universe, The Universe gets serious about you. What is this concept “organized” but a conscious awareness of yourself within your space? My understanding of the laws of attraction, are that they become increasingly activated by awareness!
   So, yes, make your list of your ideal mate. However, I’d like to add one little suggestion. Instead of just writing what you WANT, also write a list of what you OFFER.
   If this were a potluck, what would you bring to the Relationship Table? In your list, include virtues, yes, but also include earthly things, too. Lists that are too “politically correct” have a tendency to become impotent. So be honest! Have you developed exercise habits and a fit body? Do you have a healthy relationship with money and a knack for creating prosperity? What ever it is, include what you believe you have to give a relationship. The Universe adores givers.

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2. 

   February 14, 2010

   Julie Bestry

   Dana makes some interesting points, John. I don’t actually buy them, but they’re well said. 🙂 Miserable, destructive, coldhearted people are often lavished with love, and “givers” may be adored by friends, but never experience traditional/stereotypical love. I think it does a disservice to compare something attainable with intellect and hard work (organization) with something that is mysterious and determined by the vagaries and whims of fate (“true” love)–it makes those “givers” without love assume they just aren’t working hard enough!
   I’d note that perhaps if one is so organized to know exactly what one wants, then one might easily dismiss something that lacks any of the listed, “necessary” characteristics. This is likely very advantageous in seeking the “perfect” filing cabinet or closet design, but perhaps short-sighted in seeking a yummy gooey love match.
   One organizes with the brain; one loves (or does not love) because, but also sometimes despite, what the brain says.
   We often compare weight loss and fitness with organizing–it didn’t happen overnight, systems have to be customized to the person, stick with it (with modifications as necessary) and you will achieve success.
   I think love is quite unlike fitness or organizing; rather, it’s like spirituality/faith. Some can attain it repeatedly, others never once, and still others can hold on to it forever. I’d say being organized is excellent preparation for love once you have it, but that the best it probably does until then is help you show up on time in matching clothes where the object of your affection might find you. (And as much as my career focuses on the importance of organizing, I have to admit that being late and mismatched could possibly make you even more appealing to certain potential mates.) 🙂

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3. 

   February 14, 2010

   Margaret Lukens

   A couple of years ago, I coached a client to find a mate using the book “Find a Husband After 35 (using what I learned at Harvard Business School)” The book is really valuable for anyone who wants to take an organized approach to finding a mate.
   The book provides good, basic marketing advice in an organized fashion – how to focus on the project and make it a priority, how to do your packaging, market expansion, branding (this is related to what Dane describes – identifying what we bring to the party and what we can give, to help our ideal “market” find us), online marketing, niche marketing, etc.
   There is one place where the author really departs from your approach, John. She says that when your friends (and friends’ mothers) ask you what sort of mate you’re seeking, you are to reply with one sentence only: “I’m looking for someone wonderful.” The point is not to cut off possibilities. Meet everyone. They may not be the one, but they may introduce you to your mate, which, if you had cut off the possibility of meeting “Mr Not Quite Right” with too many requirements, could not have happened.
   My experience is that being intentional about our plans and desires does make a difference to our success. Some people will seem to luck into whatever they want, but if you don’t believe that you are one of those charmed people, try making a plan and following through, and getting help, if necessary. In other words, get organized!

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4. 

   February 14, 2010

   Julie Bestry

   Oops, apology for thinking Dane was Dana. The “Posted by” font is miniscule on my screen, maybe 6-point.
   Great points, Margaret. Like the proverbial chicken soup, “it couldn’t hurt!”

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5. 

   February 16, 2010

   Dane Findley

   Good conversation happening here! I like Julie’s expression “yummy gooey love match!”
   On one hand, who knows the real reasons why souls find one another?
   On the other hand, sometimes when people talk about being in love, I suspect that what they really are is biologically, hormonally bonded.
   For example, if you’ve ever had a friend who was “in love” with someone who seemed to be an unfortunate or unhealthy choice — it’s often because they became oxytocin-bonded to that person (often as a result of being physically intimate before they knew what the other person’s genuine longterm plans for them were).
   In any case, I do believe that the more aware and conscious a person is, the more able they are to manifest what they want. Now: whether or not “organized” people are more conscious and aware, might be an entirely different conversation!
   

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